One person at a table declines the bait — the old jab about the job, a sibling's familiar opening move — and answers as though a genuine question had been asked. Within ten minutes the register of the whole table has shifted.
Whatever the highest available setting in a room is, somebody has to hold it first, and holding it is unglamorous. It looks like not scoring a point that was sitting right there. The return is slow and it is real: people behave differently around someone they cannot provoke.