I am forgiving myself for all my past mistakes.

This does not resolve in an afternoon, and the people who say it did for them are usually describing a decision rather than a feeling.

Most of what people cannot forgive themselves for was decided with a fraction of the information they now have. You were twenty-four and tired and somebody needed an answer by Friday. The version of you running the trial has fifteen extra years of evidence and uses every bit of it.

A fairer standard is the one you would give anybody else: not whether it turned out well, but whether it was a reasonable call from inside that Friday.