I am letting go of all the self-judgement.

Brushing your teeth, and something you said at a dinner in 2019 arrives fully formed, along with the exact face somebody made.

Nobody at that table remembers it. They have their own dinner, their own remark, playing on their own loop over their own sink. The court is empty except for you, and it sits every night regardless.

None of that makes the sitting stop. What sometimes helps is noticing that the case has run for years without ever reaching a verdict, which suggests the point was never the verdict.