I am understanding.

Understanding almost always requires a second question. The first answer anyone gives is a headline: fine, work stuff, tired. The real one sits behind it and does not come out unprompted.

The trouble is that we hear the headline and start solving it, which ends the conversation efficiently and in the wrong place.

Being understanding is less about wisdom than about tolerance for the pause, sitting in the silence after fine for long enough that something truer arrives.

Ask one person a second question today. Say nothing helpful afterwards. Just let them keep going.