I avoid negative people in my life

The people who leave you flattened are sometimes people you love and are not going to cut out of your life. A parent. A brother. Somebody going through the worst year they have had.

So the useful unit isn't presence or absence, it is dosage and shape. Two hours instead of a weekend. A walk instead of a kitchen table, because walking has a natural end and nobody has to hold eye contact.

There is also the ordinary honesty of noticing who you are on the drive home. Not as a judgment on them — just as information about what an evening costs, so you can decide what you are able to spend.