I give love to my fear, for love is the most powerful force in the world and it allows me to be in a power position. because now I am looking at it with empathy.

Nobody has ever improved a frightened child by shouting at them. It's the one approach guaranteed to add a second problem to the first.

Yet that is the standard internal procedure — contempt for the part of you that's scared, stacked on top of the fear itself. It has never worked, not once, in anyone.

Empathy here isn't indulgence. It's asking the frightened part what it thinks it's protecting, and usually getting a sensible answer: your standing, your money, someone you love.

Heard and thanked, it tends to loosen its grip. Argued with, it digs in. That's the whole reason love turns out to be the stronger position.