I know that everything happens for a reason and I learn and grow while pursing perfect health and healing.

Reasons are usually found afterwards rather than handed out in advance. People assemble them later, from whatever they managed to carry out of a hard year, and the assembling is its own kind of work.

Growth in that period rarely looks like insight. It looks like someone who finally said no to something in October because they had run out of the energy required to be agreeable.

None of which makes the difficulty a gift. It means you were still living while it went on, and living leaves marks that aren't only scars.