I never put myself down

Watch what happens when someone praises a meal. The cook says the chicken was dry, or that it's only a jar sauce, and does it fast, before anyone can agree with the compliment.

That reflex is usually taught rather than felt — a way of getting there first, of ducking before the swing. But the ear that hears it belongs to you, and it hears it a few dozen times a week, and it has no way of knowing you were only being modest at a dinner table.