I choose positive and nurturing thoughts.

An overtired child does not calm down when told to calm down. Volume makes it worse, and being told the crying is unjustified makes it worse again. What works, when anything works, is a lower voice and no argument.

Minds are not very different, and yet the internal tone most people use on themselves is closer to management than to care. Pull yourself together. This is ridiculous. What is wrong with you.

Nurturing sounds like a strange thing to aim at your own head, but it names something real — the difference between a thought that steadies you and one that only raises the noise. You do not get to pick which arrive. You do get to pick your tone with them.