I deserve a loving, supporting and committed partner as well as a relationship.

Two things get named here, and they are not the same thing. A partner is a person, arriving with a whole history you had no part in writing. A relationship is a structure the two of you build afterwards, out of ordinary materials: how arguments end, who apologises first, whether Sunday is calm.

Most people spend their searching on the first and almost none of their imagination on the second.

Good partners build poor relationships all the time, usually by accident, usually by never once discussing what they are making. You deserve both. Only one of them is found rather than built.