I give and receive love freely and fully in all my relationships.

Ledger-keeping is the enemy here, and almost everybody does a little of it. Who called last. Who paid last time. Whether the effort you made got matched inside a reasonable window.

The ledger usually grew out of a real injury. Most people who count learned to count after being taken advantage of. It isn't stupid. It is just expensive to maintain.

Try suspending it with one person you genuinely trust. Give for a month without checking the balance, and see whether the thing it was protecting you from is actually in the room.