I release the grudges I held in the past, and I feel free!

Most grudges come with a rehearsed scene attached. You run into them somewhere ordinary — a station platform, the frozen aisle — and finally say the thing, calmly and devastatingly, and they understand at last.

The scene almost never happens, and if it did, the understanding you are picturing is not really on offer; people rarely receive their own indictment gracefully. Letting a grudge go does not require deciding they were right, or that it was nothing. Mostly it means retiring the scene. There are a lot of hours filed in there that you could have back.