I will try to be kind and gentle with myself.

Gentleness in practice is mostly logistical. It's deciding that this month the standard is a lower one — that dinner can come out of a packet, that the spare room stays as it is, that nobody is getting a birthday card from you this year.

People resist that because it feels like sliding. It's what any sensible operation does under load: shed the non-essential, protect the core, restore service later. You'd approve of the decision instantly if a factory or an airline made it. It only starts to look like failure when the operation is you.