instead of tensing my body in fear, I simply relax instead, showing fear who is boss.

Dental chairs are where most people discover they can't stop gripping. Feet crossed, both hands locked on the armrests, for a procedure that asks nothing whatever of the arms.

Tensing is the body's guess at being useful. It rarely is. A braced stomach has never once helped anyone through a difficult conversation, and it costs energy you'd rather spend on the words.

The reverse works better than it should. Uncurl the hands. Drop the shoulders. Breathe out longer than you breathe in. The mind reads the body for evidence and finds none. You're not defeating anything. You're declining to pay.