There is the life that I live and the life that I want.

Two lists on the same notepad. That's the whole situation, and the gap between them is the most useful thing on the page.

The gap isn't failure. It's direction, and it's the only reliable evidence of where you actually want to go as opposed to what you say you want.

There's a bus that passes the building you'd like to work in. Some people ride past it for years. Some get off. The difference is usually one uncomfortable conversation rather than a transformation.