I am relaxed and at ease.

Vigilance is expensive in a way that shows up on no account anywhere. Being braced is work — the kind that happens while you sit still, which is why an ordinary Tuesday can leave you as tired as a long walk.

The part of you doing that bracing is not your enemy. It is overtime being worked by something that believes it is protecting you, and it has no way of knowing when the shift ends.

Ease, when it comes, is that watch being stood down for a while. Not dismissed. Just, for an hour, off duty.