I communicate in peace and with compassion.

The first eight words decide most arguments. Everything after them is two people defending the position those words put them in.

Compassion at that moment isn't softness. It is the discipline of describing what happened rather than what it proves about the other person: the missed call, not the character flaw the missed call supposedly reveals.

Peaceful doesn't mean quiet either. Plenty of loud kitchens are perfectly safe and plenty of silent ones aren't. What makes it peaceful is that nobody is being taken apart.

You get a second or two before you speak. Small window. It decides an enormous amount.