I easily sympathize with others’ feelings.

The urge to fix arrives about a second before the urge to listen, and it is usually louder. Someone describes a bad situation and your mind is already assembling options, timelines, the name of a solicitor.

Sympathy asks you to hold that back long enough for the person to finish. Most people telling you something difficult are not shopping for a plan. They want a witness first, and advice, if at all, much later.

Sitting in it without reaching for the toolbox is uncomfortable, which is why the fixing impulse wins so often. It feels like helping. Mostly it is a way of ending the discomfort early.