I put my best foot forward in my relationship.

Most people spend their best hours on strangers. The patience at work, the good humour for the client, the careful phrasing in an email to someone they'll never meet. Then home, where the tank is empty and the person who matters most gets whatever is left.

That isn't a moral failing. It is an allocation, and allocations can be moved.

It rarely takes much. Ten minutes of not discussing logistics before the evening starts. One question asked properly, with the follow-up. Your best doesn't have to be impressive to count. It only has to stop arriving last in the queue.