I speak only kind words about my partner.

There's a certain kind of group conversation where everyone takes a turn complaining about their spouse. It is companionable and it is corrosive, and it is hard to sit out without seeming smug.

What you say about somebody in company doesn't merely report your opinion. It hardens it. Deliver the funny cruel line once and it becomes the file you keep them in.

Kindness in public isn't loyalty theatre. It is a way of protecting your own view of them from the version you perform for laughs.

You can skip your turn. Nobody actually notices, and you walk home lighter.