My self-talk is always positive

Try transcribing an hour of it sometime. Most people are startled by the tone well before they're startled by the content — the flat contempt in something as small as dropping a fork.

Nobody would keep a colleague who talked to them that way for a single afternoon. The reason it survives inside is that it doesn't sound like a voice. It sounds like neutral commentary on reality.

Changing it isn't a matter of installing praise. It's closer to swapping a hostile witness for an ordinary one — the version that says 'that went badly' rather than 'you are the kind of person who'.

The first is information. The second is an argument you can't answer.