Toxic thoughts have no place in my life, and I will not allow them to control me.

A visitor and a tenant are not the same arrangement, and the whole business turns on that. A thought that comes through on a Wednesday and leaves has cost you an afternoon. One that's handed a key and a room starts making decisions about who else gets let in.

Who knocks was never on offer. What you decide is whether the kettle goes on, whether the conversation gets extended, whether the furniture starts being rearranged around what it wants.

Control is the specific thing being refused here, and it's the right target. Not the arrival — the tenancy.