With every action, I am being an example of what I want to see in my partner.

If you want more patience in the house, somebody has to go first, and there is no rule saying it cannot be you.

This is less noble than it sounds. It is practical. Waiting for the other person to change first is a strategy with a poor historical record.

The catch is that doing it as a demonstration doesn't work. People can tell when patience is being performed at them, and it reads as a rebuke rather than a gift.

So the offer only counts if you would keep making it unreciprocated for a while. That is the actual cost. It usually does get returned, just later than you would like.