I am a confident, capable person.

If somebody had to write you a reference tomorrow, they would have no difficulty. Reliable. Good under pressure. Notices things. The gap between that document and the internal experience of being you is enormous, and the document is not being polite.

Other people are assessing outputs. You are assessing the noise it took to produce them. Both are real, but only one is visible from outside, and only one has any predictive value about what you will manage next week.