I give freely, without expecting anything in return.

Almost everybody keeps a quiet tally and almost nobody would admit to it. You notice that you have hosted three times running. You notice who did not message when your father was ill.

Expecting nothing is less about killing that instinct than about refusing to let it set the terms. Give the thing you would still be glad you gave if the tally never balanced, which is a useful filter: it rules out the favours done in hope of leverage and keeps the ones done because you wanted to.

The rest is bookkeeping, and bookkeeping between friends has ended more friendships than outright unkindness.