I only speak kind words about others.

There's a particular silence that lands when a group is warming up on somebody absent and one person doesn't join in. It's brief and it's noticeable, and it costs a small amount of belonging.

Gossip is glue. That's why it's everywhere. Agreeing that a colleague is impossible is one of the fastest ways two people can become allies, and declining puts you slightly outside the circle for the rest of the lunch.

Most of what protects a reputation happens in rooms the person will never hear about. So does most of what dismantles one.

Nobody being discussed ever finds out who said nothing — which is what keeps it a choice rather than a performance.