I penalize myself when I have negative thoughts

A penalty in sport exists to make something visible. The whistle stops play, everybody sees where the foul was, and then — this is the part that matters — the game restarts immediately.

Where it goes wrong is when there is no restart. A whistle that never stops blowing isn't officiating any more, it is just noise, and the team stops hearing it.

If you keep an account with yourself, keep it the way a referee does: name it, mark it, play on. The cost of a thought should be about four seconds of attention, not the rest of the afternoon.

Nobody has ever been punished into thinking more kindly. But people have been reminded, briefly and without heat, and gone back to the game.