My perfect health and healing allows me to live the life I have always wanted and exactly how I want to live it.

There's a version of the life you want sitting behind a door marked *when I'm better*. It is a reasonable place to put things.

It also has a habit of collecting more and more of the good stuff, until very little is left on this side of the door.

Some of it can be brought forward. Not the hiking trip, perhaps, but the friend you would have gone with. Not the move abroad, but the language you'd learn for it, twenty minutes at a time, from a chair.

What you want isn't one item that arrives whole. It's a list, and parts of it are within reach on a bad Tuesday.