i’m not letting fear drag me down.

Most of the weight isn't in the event. It's in the eleven rehearsals of the event, each staged at four in the morning with the worst possible cast.

The event itself, when it arrives, is usually briefer and stranger than any rehearsal. Rooms are more ordinary than imagined. People say things nobody scripted. It takes eight minutes.

None of that stops the rehearsals.

But you can decline to attend every performance. Getting up and putting the kettle on at four is a small act of walking out.