My mind is so powerful and full of healing thoughts at all times.

Nobody's mind runs one setting all day. Yours will produce, before lunch, something kind and something catastrophic, and the second is not evidence of a failure on your part.

What thinking can do is real but specific. It doesn't overrule biology. It decides how much of a difficult afternoon gets spent rehearsing the difficult afternoon, and whether you make the call you have been avoiding.

Rather than aiming for all times, aim for the return trip. You will go under. Coming back up is the part that gets easier with repetition.