Right now, I choose to be at peace with myself

A ceasefire is not a peace treaty. Nothing has been settled, nobody has apologised, the underlying business sits exactly where it was. The guns just stop for a while, and everyone involved sleeps.

That's the offer on the table, and it's a far more realistic one than total resolution. You don't have to have forgiven yourself for the thing from 2019. You only have to agree to stop firing at yourself for the next hour.

Peace made available in one-hour pieces is still peace. Anyone holding out for the version that requires all outstanding matters to be closed first will be holding out a long time, and will be tired throughout.